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Sweet Little Mess

Sarah Melissa, 18, UP Diliman

I've been devouring books since forever. I write down my messy thoughts hoping that I could make sense of them.

hopeless dreamer(s)

Tags: snippets; gamechanger; eyecandy; photos; words

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Day 30- Who are you?

Honestly, I don’t know.┬áHAHAHA. Kidding.

I’m the dreamer who stopped wishing when she knew it was enough. I’m a sweet lover, and a rather gentle hater.

I am a mixture of what my family, peers, and the society made me become, but I won’t be who I am without the things I decided to do, or not do.

There are a million things I can say about myself but I guess you’d just have to be my friend to find out. :)

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

I’ve learned about acceptance.

Acceptance that some things are there for a reason. That life would never be fair; there will always be someone better off, and someone more unfortunate. That what you didn’t want to happen might happen anyway. That sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we can’t change the circumstances, especially when we are not in control of the situation.

Most importantly, I’ve learned how to accept with a smile on my face, no matter how hard it was for me to do so. :)

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

I bet this made you laugh. Or at least thought I looked extra stupid. This was taken during our Ilocos trip. Almost everyone in our batch saw this and made fun of me. Even I laughed at myself.

How much I’ve changed since then? Quite a lot. In many ways. Mostly it was my level of maturity. I’ve learned so much since the day this photo was taken. A lot has happened, and some are not worth mentioning anymore. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and these mistakes are my guide now to the way I see life and its complications. Of course, the way I look has changed a bit, too. :)

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

When I first thought of doing this challenge, my main goal was to be able to post something regularly. It didn’t quite work out because sometimes I had no access to the internet. Another purpose of this is to make sure I will always have something to write about, at least for a month, or as what happened, for around 2-3 months. Lastly, this challenge forces me to think, about myself and the people & things around me.

Day 26- What you think about your friends

I love them. Period. That’s what I can say in general. Some of them are annoying, some are crazy, while there are also the quiet ones, and also the sensitive ones. I hate some of them sometimes, but once I say that someone is a close friend, he/she is, despite whatever comes between us. I have a number of friends, and they don’t just come from one group. I have friends who hate, or just don’t really know, each other. But then again, I love them all.

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Planner, yellow pad, binder, glasses, wallet, Sony walkman, Samsung cellphone, ID, kikay kit, umbrella, and pencil case (which contains more than pencils).

I am one of those who find it hard to use a small bag. I like carrying everything I might need for the day.

Day 24- A letter to your parents

For my mom:

Hi Mom! As I’m typing this, my text message to you is also sent. Now, you know I have my mood swings, and now I don’t feel like being dramatic. So this will be short. Anyway, we talk in person and through cellphone often. I am actually thankful that we have a good relationship, one that isn’t just mother-daughter but could also be considered real friendship. I don’t tell you everything, but I tell you a lot more stuff than what I hide from you. I’m sorry, if I ever make you feel like I don’t care, and I’m also sorry for anything else that I’ve done which didn’t make you happy. I said I wasn’t going to be dramatic but I am anyway. Talk about being fickle. I guess I’ll just end this by saying Thank you for everything. I love you Mom, you know that.

XOXO, Sam

For my dad:

Hi Daddy. It’s not usual for us to really talk. Maybe it’s because we don’t live in the same house. Or maybe, it’s just normal for girls to open up more to their moms than to their dads. A lot has happened, and though there are times when I blame you for them, you are still my father. Nothing can change that. Sometimes I find myself wishing that you didn’t make those mistakes, that our family’s still whole, but I know that some things can’t be undone. All I can do, all we can do, is make the most out of whatever we have now. I love you, and that won’t change. Maybe one day the mistakes won’t affect us in a bad way anymore, and instead they will give us a chance to make right choices. Thank you, for what you’ve done for me, and for being our dad even though our situation is complicated.

Love, Sam

—————————

It just didn’t feel right writing just one letter for both of them.

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Pizza. Need I say more? ;-)

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Everything and nothing. It depends on what aspect we’re talking about.

I can say I’m different in every way from everyone else because like they say, we are individuals in this world and no two people are alike.

But I can also say that I’m no different from everyone else because just like other people, I have my flaws and weaknesses as well as my strengths and skills. Just like everyone else, I’m just human.

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

My Sony Walkman. Music is what makes me happy these days.

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/ being with in the future

Someone who loves me, and whom I love back. The one who’ll make me fall in love everyday. I would be willing to sacrifice my own happiness for him, but he’s also willing to do the same for me. We’d be best friends, partners in life, and good parents to our kids. I’d be the only one for him, and I’d be faithful to him, too.

I thought I knew him already, but life happens and suddenly it’s too early to tell. I haven’t stopped hoping, though. :-)

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

  1. Sam - I got this one even before I got my real name. Mom said it was new and in back then.
  2. Sarah - Obviously because my real name is Sarah Melissa. I got it when I entered school.
  3. SM - Ate Therese, a friend of mine, thought Sarah was too common and Melissa too long. This became my high school nickname.
  4. SarahMel - Ate Ivy, another friend of mine, made this up. I guess she just likes names that sound like food, esp. sweets. Got this when I was in high school, too.
  5. B - My best friend Isah calls me this while I call her S. Guess why.
  6. Mel - From Melissa (duh). From high school, too. The second least used among my nicknames.
  7. Lissa - My crush back in high school called me this. Just him. No one else ever used it. The least used among my nicknames.

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

I have plenty of these!

  • Shift to BS BAA.
  • Graduate on time. And with honors.
  • Pass the CPA board.
  • Learn more.
  • Have fun even more.
  • Have a job that I will love.
  • Have my own car and house by the age of 24.
  • Marry the guy with whom I’ll be in love for the rest of my life.
  • Have kids. Pretty kids.
  • Have a simple yet comfortable life.
  • Be able to look back with contentment and happiness when I’m old.
  • Help those in need in whichever way I can.
  • Give back.
  • Be a responsible citizen.
  • Most of all, I just want to be happy. :-)

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Wow, this one’s hard. I guess I’ll just be completely honest even though I might sound really shallow-minded.

I could say Blair Waldorf, even though she’s a fictional character. I would want to switch lives with B back when she and Chuck were still together. Why? Well, mostly because I would want to be with Chuck Bass and partly because I would want to wear her clothes and shoes. Hahaha.

Sorry, but seriously, living in the Upper East Side of NYC, having a boyfriend who’s hot and handsome and dangerously being in love with said boyfriend is just appealing to me. Oh, and have I mentioned the clothes that Blair has? :”>